Hi! I'm Proby RN! And I FINALLY made it! Four years of college, graduation, one nasty NCLEX exam and four months of orientation later...I'm finally doing it all on my own! And at my dream job working in a CTICU. Awesome right? Everything I've hoped and dreamed of right? Well, yea, but its freaking terrifying!
I always thought school was the hard part. That if I could make it through all the bullshit tests and endless papers and group projects, I could finally just focus on being an actual nurse. Then I started my job and I thought the same thing about NCLEX. If I could pass NCLEX (75 questions baby!), then I could do my job no problem. Well then it was orientation. If I could check off all my mandatory skills and pass orientation, I'd be golden. Right?
Welll...I was wrong. Dead. Wrong.
I've been on my own barely two weeks and everyday I go into work feeling sick. The entire shift I feel like something is about to go wrong, any second. When I leave work I think wow, nothing went wrong, must've been my lucky day, instead of anything life saving on my part. And when I'm home, trying to sleep, all I can think of is OMG what if I forgot something? What if I charted something wrong,what if I forgot to tell the next nurse something, what if I didn't put a TINY BLUE CAP ON SOMETHING?!
Somedays I feel like I am going to be the next patient on our unit. But everyday I love my job. Hopefully it stays that way....
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